Long Distance Relationships
Taken from
Askmen.com
Women: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. This common
expression relates well to the problematic issue of long distance
relationships, because when your relationship is put to through this
particular test, its time to decide which of these opposing statements
applies to you the most.
The path of life tends to pull people in different directions. Some
random turn of events can sometimes have the power to decide the fate of
a couple. For instance, if a man is being relocated across the country
due to a promotion at work, and his woman is doing just fine in her
present career, they inevitably end up going their separate ways.
Sometimes young lovers are forced to call it quits because they end
up attending different colleges in different cities, states, or even
continents.
What can one do in such a situation? Is the relationship worth
pursuing or should they just forget about it and part ways?
The first thing to understand is that a relationship across great
distances does not necessarily qualify as a relationship. Let me
explain.If a guy has been dating a girl for two years and she decides
to travel across Europe with nothing but a backpack and pocket change,
where does this leave the duo? Well, the first thing to do in this
situation is to establish some ground rules before she hops on that
plane.
The couple must agree on how they will deal with this separation, and
even if they will remain a couple at all. If one decides that they
cannot be in a long distance relationship, while the other is ready to
sacrifice a little for the sake of staying together, then they have a
problem on their hands..
There are three basic options when dealing with long distance
relationships: the couple can remain faithful to each other; they can
date other people and see what happens; or they can call it quits and
start dating other people right away.
One option is to keep everything the way it is -- whether you are 5
miles or 5,000 miles away from each other. This way of thinking is very
popular among young lovebirds, new to the journey of romance.They
tend to believe that physical space between them will not affect the
solidity of the relationship because their "undying" love for each other
can surpass this seemingly small obstacle. This often applies to couples
that get separated for education reasons.
What happens in many cases, however, is that one of the partners may
start feeling lonely and begin looking around to see what the
"relationship market" has to offer.
But if the woman, for example, decides to hold back and not date
anybody during her time away from her boyfriend, he should also be
saving himself for her. Right? In an ideal situation, this would be the
plan. But unfortunately, that's not always possible.
The guy in question might start fooling around, but will eventually
feel guilty about it, even if six months have passed since he last saw
his girlfriend.
The problem is that the terms of the relationship clearly state that
this should not happen. What then?
Simply having made a decision to allow each other the freedom to date
other people while they were apart, and seeing if they still felt the
same way about each other once they were reunited, could have prevented
this situation. Hence, the second category for a long-distance
relationship.
This same principle applies to any couple in the initial stage of
dating: they are together but they're not committed.Both follow the
unwritten rule of allowing each other to date other people until they
feel the need to be exclusive.
This is a perfectly rational way of looking at potential long
distance relationships. What if, for example, unavoidable circumstances
force the woman to leave and desert her mate in the early stages of the
relationship.
Although some couples develop faster than others, common sense should
always be of the essence, as emotions sometimes tend to run away with
us.
The underlying idea here is that impossible promises should not be
made and only a reciprocal, genuine affection for each other will decide
the couple's fate.
If staying together is not in your cards, it soon becomes obvious,
and ending the relationship is the only solution. This way, there won't
be any broken hearts or unnecessary lies.
It's a smart thing to slow down a love connection at an early stage in
order to avoid any heartache, especially if you know you will be
separated shortly.
The ideal solution would be to not get involved with anybody knowing
that you will be required to be separated for a long period of time.
But if you decide to go ahead and start dating this woman, then do it
wisely and know that your days together are numbered.
The smart thing to do in this case is remind yourself that there are
no short-term obligations and that as soon as you are separated, your
life will continue and women will still be at arm's length.
Long distance relationships can be best separated into three categories:
remaining faithful, dating loosely to see what happens or breaking off
the relationship altogether.
Whichever category is chosen depends largely on which stage of the
relationship you and your girlfriend are at.
This ties in nicely with one of my fellow AskMen.com writers, Curt
Smith, who strongly believes that Rejection Is Better Than Regret. You
don't want to spend the rest of your days reminiscing about what could
have been. This will allow for painful heartache and... ulcers.
source:
http://www.askmen.com/dating/datingadvice/26_dating_tips.html
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